Why Discussing Fertility Issues Makes Us Uncomfortable? - Dr Hrishikesh Pai

Why Discussing Fertility Issues Makes Us Uncomfortable?

February 10, 2021
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Fertility Issues

It is a known fact that infertility does hurt. It takes a mental, emotional, and physical toll on people struggling with it.

It can impact our self-esteem, relationships, and social connections. Many are so bogged down with it that they prefer hiding their struggles than discussing them with others.

Why do people avoid discussing their infertility?

More than 50% of the couples prefer hiding their fertility issues from their family and friends. They feel it is easier to say they are not planning to have children than admit to their infertility struggles.

This brings to the fore the silent suffering of people who aspire to have children of their own.

Why do people hide their infertility issues?

1. Feel incomplete

Many people do not prefer sharing their woes about infertility with their near and dear ones. That’s natural, as who would want to advertise their inadequacy.

They do know that infertility is a disease and not a reflection of who they are. But still, they somehow feel ashamed and embarrassed.

So often you hear them say things like, “my body failed me,” “I am incapable of doing the thing a woman is supposed to do – bear children,” or “my husband feels less like a man.”

2. Talking about Sex

Most of us are uncomfortable talking about sex, and when the topic is infertility, you are bound to discuss it. It is not possible to discuss reproduction without talking about sex, the act that makes reproduction possible.

3. Bucketful of advice

Many people in your life are ready to dole out advice even when it is not required. To a great extent, their advice is either ill-informed or completely wrong.

You surely must have heard some ‘helpful’ advice, such as:

  • Stop trying and relax. Anxiety is the culprit.
  • Adopt, and you will surely conceive.
  • Avoid getting up or put your leg in the air for 30 minutes after intercourse.

Also, much of the time, the advice is unwanted. It tends to pop-up when least expected and inflicts pain. So, to keep themselves protected from ‘helpful’ advice, many couples prefer not to share their struggles with infertility.

With who should you share your infertility issues?

Find your core group.

It will help if you have some trustworthy, supportive people around you on your journey through infertility. Filter out people with whom you can share your sadness and frustrations as well as your hopes and dreams for success.

Be careful with whom you share your problems and feelings. You surely don’t want the world to know about your infertility struggles.

Be open with your partner.

You share a special bond with your spouse, and even he or she is together with you in this struggle. So, it would help if you openly shared your feeling with them.

However, many people want to shield their partners from the full intensity of their feelings. That’s why they prefer not to talk about their fears and anxiety and keep their emotions bottled up.

How to start

You can start by sharing little information about your journey with your close people. Let them know about your struggle with infertility, what you have done so far, and your research and plans for seeking the right IVF doctor in India for your treatment.

Let your support system know that you do not expect them to solve your fertility issue. But you want someone who can understand you and listen to your problems.

Medical science is making rapid advancements in the field of fertility treatments. If you are struggling with infertility, you must visit a reputed IVF centre in India for consultation. They will recommend the best treatment for you to help achieve your dream of parenthood.

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